I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Pants are for mortals
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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