He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I faked an abortion last night.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
