There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
