it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
