Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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