Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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