for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
