if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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