I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So squirting runs in the family.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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