hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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