I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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