Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
