Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i've created a new STD.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
