What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
