Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
