We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
