bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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