oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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