Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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