I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize