i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
