some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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