Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
