We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Fuck appropriateness.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize