she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
