One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
When are your genitals available?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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