Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I need moral support for this bender
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize