If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
