The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
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