My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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