I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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