smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
