Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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