Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
