I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
