last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
