she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
