Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
