She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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