let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
