You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
