she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
