So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
