I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i think im in europe. pls send help
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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