I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
