i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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