I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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