you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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