just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
