So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
please come you make the beer taste better
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
