living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize