he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
