I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
