Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
