im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
