have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's blow job season.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
