Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
