waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
