My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
