fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
