Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
